Do you
overthink everything you do, until you are not sure about anything?
Do you
not know which step to take, so end up not taking any steps at all?
Overthinking
and doubting yourself and your talents can keep you stuck in life. I should
know, I have been there, and still find myself back there from time to time.
Sometimes it feels like being on a stop and start ride at times. It's difficult
to navigate out of repetitive negative thoughts and behaviors, and, as is often
the case, what lies behind them is lack of self-confidence.
"When
you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt."- Honore de Balzac
Not
believing in yourself, your talents, or your ability to accomplish your
dreams, manifests itself in self-doubt, procrastination and self-sabotage,
which then leads into further negative thoughts and feelings.
They are all symptoms of deep seated feelings of lack within yourself: you lack the belief you are worthy, you are good enough, or that you belong.
They are all symptoms of deep seated feelings of lack within yourself: you lack the belief you are worthy, you are good enough, or that you belong.
And
although it is worth uncovering where the roots of these feelings begin - what
caused them - it's more important to find out how to change them.
Yes, it
is possible to change how you feel about yourself because I've done it.
When I
began, I realised that the key thing I was missing in believing in myself was
self-trust. I didn't trust myself to do what needed to be done, from small
things to big thing. I didn't trust myself to follow-through, be persistent or
consistent. I didn't trust myself not to let myself down.
Trust and
believing in yourself walk hand in hand. If you don't trust yourself, you won't
believe in yourself.
"Don't
believe what your eyes are telling you, all they show is limitation. Look with
your understanding, find out what you already know, and you'll see the way to
fly."- Richard Bach
So how do
you trust yourself? You trust yourself by listening to yourself.
I don't
mean the constant stream of thoughts in your head that spin around, asking more
questions than they answer, and providing tainted 'evidence' about your
self-worth gathered from the outside world. I mean listening to your heart.
That means sitting down and just reaching out your conscious mind to your body,
feeling every part of it, and settling on the heart. And then asking how it
feels about the things you are struggling with, and feel the physical response
your body gives.
Feelings are a physical thing. You feel bad
when you feel sick to your stomach, tense your muscles, or feel tired; and you
feel good by the opposite: a spark of excitement in your stomach, relaxing your
muscles, or feeling energised.
Listening to your heart means tuning into
your body, and its response. It is how you connect to yourself. You trust what
you know and if you know how you feel about something, you can trust it.
However,
it doesn't stop second guessing, or doubting those feelings. The trick to
breaking that mental cycle is a simple one: Action.
"An
inch of movement will take you closer to your goals that a mile of
intention." - Steve Maraboli
If you
take action based on your true feelings you start building something that
is past the questioning stage, something tangible. You are supporting your
feelings by doing something. You are following through. And the more times you
do that - take action based off your true feelings - the more you will trust
both your feelings and yourself. It supports belief in your feelings and
creates trust for the next time and then the next, building a rapport with
yourself, a history, and a connection.
Yes, it
sounds easy, doesn't it? But no, it's not. You have to believe you are worth
it, and take the time for you. If you honestly want to change how you feel, you
have to make time for you and your feelings. You have to get to a point
where you tell yourself, I am worth my time.
And what
if those actions don't work out, or fail? What then? Then the cycle begins
again.
Consider
what didn't work, or what you need to change to make it work, and try again. As
long as you stay true to how you feel and take action that is committed and
wholehearted and not doubting, you will at the very least learn something that
will help you try again and be successful.
This is
not a one time only deal. You choose to give yourself a second chance every
time. You choose to decide you are worth it. Life is trial and error. But until
you stop listening to the doubts and actually take action, you will never
know.
Are you
worth the risk? The longer you dawdle over the answer, and don't take action,
the more room you leave for self doubt.
So don't
doubt - DO!
“The
path to success is to take massive, determined action.”– Tony Robbins
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